Love Me Now
Rev. Michael J.V. Clark • October 25, 2026

I think my sixth birthday party was the best ever. My father was the XO of the Royal Navy frigate, HMS Brave, and dad arranged for myself and eight or so other little guys to have my party on the warship’s flight deck. I was the most popular boy in school for a week. It’s been downhill ever since. I peaked too soon.
Not to be outdone, one of my little friends had his own birthday party a few weeks later. His dad was very successful businessman, and liked to show off. So the same group of boys weren’t merely invited, but instructed to attend a very extravagant affair, with a paid entertainer who made animals out of squeaky balloons. This was the 1980s after all. But at the end of the festivities, something rather odd happened: the birthday boy was allowed to decide which of boys gathered were going to be his friends. I can’t even remember if I made the cut...but it didn’t feel right.
I think all of us experience a similar lesson somewhere in our childhood: you cannot simply compel someone to love you. It must be freely given, or it’s not love at all. And yet in today’s Gospel, Christ doesn’t just invite us to love God with all our heart, soul and mind; he doesn’t merely recommend we love our neighbor. He commands it.
This makes no sense unless we actively understand the Greeks have several different words for love, and the love the Lord commands here is not simply attraction, or affection, or even friendship. It is something altogether more demanding: self-giving. We are not commanded to give God ‘vibes’, nor to think fuzzy thoughts about the people who live next door. The Law and the Prophets do not hang on the commandment: ‘be nice, as God is nice’. For a start, God isn’t always nice.
But since we often struggle to feel any kind of positive thoughts towards those who live in close proximity, there’s a danger that, for lack of credibility, we gloss over Christ’s teaching here, because it doesn’t correlate with our lived experience; so we quietly relegate this commandment to the ‘aspirational’ department and move on. But that’s because we haven’t fully understood what kind of love the Lord is talking about.
It is true you can no more command someone to love you than you can command them to enjoy Brussels sprouts. But agape, this self-sacrificial love Christ commands, primarily involves the will. It begins not with the discovery of something attractive or intoxicating in another person, but with the recognition of something true about them.
The truth which underpins Christ’s command to love is that we belong to God, individually, and collectively. Since I belong to God, and you belong to God, I recognize in you what makes it reasonable to love you. If I truly love God, then I will love the things that God loves and detest the things that God detests, and therein I find love of neighbor.
But there is another person whom God loves, and whom I am therefore obliged to love: myself. Not because I am practically perfect in every way, but because I too bear the hallmark of God. It’s not that I’m entitled to love my own self - as St. Thomas Aquinas teaches, charity compels it, not because I’m inherently lovable, but in view of God’s image in me.
St. Augustine observes the heart of the issue about love: we are capable of loving the right things in the wrong way, and in the wrong order. We can love our possessions more than our families, our reputations more than the truth, or ourselves more than God. Sin is often not the absence of love, but the absence of order. All Christian morality begins here: putting God first, and loving everything else in its proper relationship to him.
Putting God first has one further advantage: God’s command is not simply about obeying a higher power, it’s also the key to knowledge that comes from the alignment of my will with God’s will. This is what happens when I surrender my will to his in obedience to the greatest and first commandment. When I begin to will what God wills, I don't simply become more obedient. I begin to know God himself. Indeed, the more perfectly my will becomes united to his, the closer I come to what we call sainthood. The Twentieth Century preacher Austin Farrer put it this way:
We cannot touch God except by willing the will of God. Then his will takes effect in ours and we know it; not that we manipulate him, but that he possesses us.
Belonging to God is so much more than a metaphysical fact to be acknowledged and obeyed. It opens up a relationship through which we begin to see things as God sees them. Remember, the wounded face of Christ has eyes that gaze upon humanity in all its brokenness, and he wishes for you to gaze out like him as well. In seeking to love as he loves we see the world through his eyes. Thus, the command to love is a command to imitate the way that God loves us; a capacity we only enjoy by grace. God's command does not abolish our freedom. Quite the opposite: it addresses our freedom, inviting us to give ourselves willingly to the one to whom we already belong.
My young friend tried to coerce love through power, and I happen to know he has since realized this isn’t how love works. But Christ commands love by example, and in his perfect act of self-gift, offers us the means by which our will can be transformed, and through which we discover our true identity, not by looking in a mirror, but by looking out through the glass.
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